yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You smell like a Billy Joel song
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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