You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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