Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just gargled with NyQuil
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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