Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize