You made me cry and you don't even care
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
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I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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