tell your sister to shave her snatch
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize