Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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