Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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