I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize