Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
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But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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