I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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