And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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