My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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