I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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