Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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