I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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