Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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