i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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