at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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