Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
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do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
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So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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