We won't sleep together?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize