do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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