Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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