i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
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That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
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Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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