Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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