still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize