video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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