Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize