dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
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just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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