Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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