the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
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It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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