Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You took a bar mat shot.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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