just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my being single is dangerous.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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