Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize