Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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