I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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