Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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