i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
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As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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