The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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