..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
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he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
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Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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