Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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