If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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