I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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