ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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