i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize