So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize