He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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