Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize