did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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