in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You don't make any sense
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